The science and psychology behind how to control anyone’s behavior – thoughts, feelings, actions – easily without effort – here’s how:
We’re often told “be yourself”, “be outgoing”, “show interest”, and others will like us – never a guarantee. Why do so few get all the attention – even if they give very little? The first thing we must learn to influence others is what controls behavior – what drives a person to be irresistibly addictive to another. It’s not the person. It’s the attitude.
Some intuitively know what others want – and give it to them – few ever desire logic – many want sports, coffee, movies, cigarettes, video games, porn, sex – emotional stimulation – over all logical, healthy, rational (broccoli, spinach) boring – most often choose self-destruction (cigarettes, candy, fast food) – few ever choose broccoli.
We’re taught (wrongly) broccoli and spinach – logic decides choice – in reality Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and KFC – emotion drives choice – instant pleasure and gratification are most powerful in driving behavior – try to make a smoker quit (most want to, should be effortless).
All obese people want to lose weight – know exactly how – most never do – the part controlling behavior chooses junk – over all logic – because logic doesn’t decide most actions – emotions do – spinach and broccoli (best choices) are least wanted by almost everybody.
There are 2 “brains” in everyone – first logic (broccoli) – sacrifice now, reward later – the brain which makes New Year’s resolutions (which almost always fail) – then there’s the brain most often deciding real results.
Wmotional – far more powerful – wants to feel good NOW – ice cream – taste high now – hijacks behavior – often leaving people acting out actions they want to avoid AS they’re doing them – over and over for years – unable to stop despite ever logical intention.
Emotion (Nestle, Coca-Cola, Nabisco, Reese’s) rule – logic (Tanimura – a broccoli manufacturer) no one knows – will you be the person doing what works – obsessed by everyone – or no one remembers – does what’s “logical” – all people should logically want (but don’t)?
Master persuaders become experts in the art of crafting desire – ignore logic – offer craving – and in return, get lifetime loyalty from billions who desperately crave them (even while despising them) – but virtually always choose them – logic doesn’t control choice.
Consider what the most successful offer? Logic doesn’t decide choice – what do they give for those billions?
- High cholesterol?
- Heart attack?
The answer is processed sugar – a highly addictive substance – except they don’t want it – but know it’s bad – don’t care – often bypass healthy choices – because of the craving which controls their behavior – that “high” makes them feel good – how is behavior controlled?
We obviously can’t feed everyone sugar all day – we must create this “high” in externally?… Social media, sports, tv, storytelling, music, movies, smartphones – all do this perfectly – let’s explore step-by-step how it works:
Decision often gets results from one question: will this make me feel good now… please my emotional mind – make me feel a “high” I can’t resist, desperate for more?… the sugariest snack wins 99% of the attention (feeling)- broccoli and carrots (logic) 1%.
Justin Bieber is rich, powerful, famous – if Justin says “jump” – millions will go, “how high?” and fight (often to insanity) for approval – why are they desperate for him (what makes him more desirable than another human) – not intelligence or societal contributions?
Imagine, Justin – same person inside – never famous – works at McDonald’s, no money, lives in parents’ garage… do the millions – all who claim to “worship him”, be his “biggest fan”, “obsessed” with him (not his status) – have interest in him – or his projected image?
The value is the image – EV (entertainment value) – the “holy grail” in influence is feeling – not logic – best-sellers are clothing, jewelry, makeup, drugs (cigarettes, Tylenol, etc.) – not education or logic – one purpose: transform emotional states or others’ reactions.
A smartphone, car, celebrity – is popular – until a newer, flashier model comes along – then popular suddenly becomes “old”, “outdated” – no longer wanted – BORING – broccoli and brussel sprouts – no longer stimulates emotion – our brain labels it “irrelevant”.
Scientists, firefighters, mathematicians, physicists, teachers – best intentions – try doing the right thing – dedicate time and energy to helping others – meanwhile, celebrities are worshiped – can be total like assholes – long as they provide (often superficial) entertainment.
Many logical heroes exist – but don’t give that excitement “high” society is addicted to – expect few crave logic – so logical value is filtered out in nanoseconds – (logical) real heroes often get pushed to the side for entertainers.
Imagine – for a moment – you possess power to engineer irresistible craving in anyone… except YOU don’t matter – your results are based on the image you project by word and action – here’s an example:
Ever hear of a relationship where someone goes suicidal saying, “I can’t live without THEM!”?
Relationships and phones, much different from coffee and cigarettes, never enter our body, or hijack us directly – but realize far more powerful is external influence – billions have killed themselves suicide over love – never one on coffee or cigarettes – but here’s the kicker.
As children, we need virtually nothing to be happy – our imagination and a cardboard box is beyond enough. Why, as we age, do we we “need” things we never needed before to be happy – suddenly craving just “appears” – or we’re incomplete until we have it?
If we never smoked, or drank, we don’t magically crave things we’ve never got an addiction for – addiction is conditioning… what do we condition into people? Their own emotions (cravings for pleasure).
If we blocked eyes, ears, nose, and put smokers together, no one could react to the cigarette – won’t know it exists – but still crave for one – because the urge always was conditioned in THEM – not the object itself.
The promise of a FEELING (reward) their brain will give them is conditioned – over time they will feel a desperate need to fulfill that urge to have that thing, or person, because “withdrawal” (pain) at the mere thought of not having it makes them hurt.
They need things to be happy they never did – are miserable without – with no logic – the only remedy is their brain having that exact thing – but, if something could replicate that feeling – the object is irrelevant – they’ll pick whatever gives the feeling they’re after.
How does a brain decide what it want to fire cravings for, and what never will? How do we know when an action will stimulate addictive feelings, but another never will – here’s the formula:
A. Makes me feel better than now = “I want”… push toward pleasurable relief from thing/person.
B. Makes me feel NOTHING (or worse) = “stay away”… negative emotion pushes away from thing/person.
Person, food, smartphone, slot machine, anything – is it A or B? If it’s A, how do we make it B? Even the most boring story can be exciting with a change in storytelling.
It’s nothing to do with the person – it’s our action – whether they make others feel “A” or “B” – which control reaction, results, and reality g- we must only know how to choose successful behavior – behavior which reaches a desired result? But most people settle.
Many people normally don’t care when they feel “good” – they care about pain and pleasure – they’ settle for “normal” – as long as it relieves the pain – even for a minute – because they don’t see a better option.
A smoker rarely (if ever) feels “amazing”, nor coffee drinker, phone addict, alcoholic, gambler, or anyone in addiction – they’re scratching an “itch” – never get “orgasm” feelings – but even at outrageous prices – pay for small moments of relief, often with big costs later.
Why don’t parents use broccoli as a reward on children? It builds good habits, immune system, health – all logical things… and one problem – it’s not addictive (doesn’t deliver satisfaction for cravings).
In the 3% – not 97% – the child (and adult) wants that feeling inside the 97% – we must focus on giving it to them. – most parents “reward” children with cake, candy, cookies, video games… we’re conditioned from childhood to chase things which feel good NOW.
A child fears disappointing Santa, not because they’re worried about Santa’s feelings, or he’s a nice guy… they know – if they do – their reward (source of pleasure) may not come, and replaced with pain-inducing punishment – many grow this strategy as adults for control:
If an adult wants to punish someone (partner, child, employee etc.), they may withhold (sex, sports, pizza, etc.) – whatever most emotionally motivates the other person to go under their control, they’ll threaten fear of loss – here’s what’s important:
People never withhold logical “rewards”… punishment is always fear of uncomfortable feeling – which motivates or demotivates us toward their desired action – what we’ve begun learning are the strategies to counter their manipulation (only better) – we get how it works.
Society encourages manipulation (they’ll never admit, through their action, often calling it “making a positive impression”) – at their core, they too are ususally trying to influence others – often saying, doing, and looking whatever they think will get the response they want…
Every time a person combs their hair thinking they’ll impress someone, get a job, or get a response, they plan their dress, talk, and act according to what they think will get the other person to give them the result they want – people often don’t say what they truly think/feel.
When this manipulation works they’re happy… when it doesn’t they often are upset, bitter, even angry at all the time, energy, and money wasted… but plenty of people are charismatic, persuasive, and still 110% their natural selves, not changing, just enhancing.
Manipulation is gambling – persuasion isn’t – you’re not changing behavior – just being influential – uncover the truth about behavior, and perhaps change your life forever – get your free eBook – just enter your name and email below to get begin, then click “NEXT”: