The science and psychology behind how to easily move anyone’s behavior anywhere you want them.
It’s not what you are that counts – it’s whether what you have is valuable to others – and it’s not what they want.
If we don’t give others what they truly want – regardless of intention – we don’t get jobs, relationships, money – whatever… but what do others want – what drives behavior?
Milk sells far less than soda. Broccoli far less than candy. Documentaries far less than sports, video games, cigarettes – many rarely choose what’s best for themselves.
Why does a dog chase its tale? It’s not practical, beneficial, useful – so why do it? Because it feels good now.
New Year’s Resolutions prove logic (future reward) isn’t far behind immediate reward in persuasion – people constantly crave entertainment – emotional stimulation.
Influence isn’t giving people what they (logically) want – it’s what they (emotionally) react to – cigarettes, candy, coffee, sports, video games – logic often has little control over decision – if it did we’d all be eating broccoli and studying – feeling far more drives results – but what actually controls behavior?
Every time someone says “I love” or “I’m addicted to” (translation: “I want”) – “I crave feeling this will deliver now” – most to eat healthy – resist junk – for future reward – but by far most choices are based on whatever feels best now – not the logical choice we’re fighting against.
The Simpsons said it best in a skit where they were all candy bars, except Lisa, who is an Apple, says: “no one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there’s a razor blade in me.” Bart replies: “Yeah, that’s the reason” – the basic rules of influence we all intuitively know – most will choose what feels good now:
We all know soda and cigarettes are bad – few desire to give up in any hurry – smart choices take willpower – let’s begin to explore the psychology behind irrational behavior:
There are 2 “brains” which drive all choice – (logic) sets goals – lose weight, quit smoking – second controls behavior – emotional craving wants to enjoy feel good now – but often lose future benefit – New Year’s resolutions prove most always ultimately choose to feel good now – and sacrifice later.
Few can control most behavior – give themselves a command and act on it consistently – or we’d all be choosing broccoli, study, exercising – but New Years proves this is far from reality for most – instead emotions – video games, candy, junk food – mostly drive behavior in everyone from adults down to a 2-year-old.
Emotion (Nestle, Coca-Cola, Nabisco, Reese’s) always outsell Tanimura (a broccoli manufacturer you’ve never heard of) – will you be the person who does what’s logical – but no one remembers – lacks effectiveness, inner power, or any influence whatsoever?
Master persuaders are experts in crafting desire – they know what works – and do it – ignore logic – satisfying craving – like a gourmet meal – they may never know what’s inside – only it feels good while eating it.
This person gets lifetime loyalty – not the person who cooks the healthiest logical meal – or is the best choice – it’s best tasting that wins – even if loaded with damaging garbage – billions return again and again – often fully ignoring any logical option.
This is because of processed sugar – a highly addictive substance – causes an immediate feeling – controlling their behavior – they’re logically aware it’s bad – yet most ignore consequence – because cravings drive desire – that “high” which makes them feel “happy”.
Obviously we can’t feed everyone sugar – we must build this inner “high” externally… social media, sports, storytelling, smartphones, music, streaming – all do this perfectly – let’s explore step-by-step how this works:
Choice most often results from one question: will this feel good now – please my emotional mind – make me feel “high” – hungry for more? The sugary snack (emotion) wins 99% of all attention – broccoli (future reward) 1%.
Justin Bieber is rich, powerful, famous – if Justin says “jump” – millions will go, “how high?” and fight (often to insanity) for approval – why are they desperate for him (what makes him more desirable than another human).
Imagine, Justin – same person inside – never famous – works at McDonald’s, no money, lives in parents’ garage… do the millions – all who claim to “worship him”, be his “biggest fan”, “obsessed” with him (not his status) – is the interest in him – or society’s projected image?
The value is the image – EV (entertainment value) – the “holy grail” in influence is feeling – not logic – best-sellers are clothing, jewelry, makeup, drugs (cigarettes, Tylenol, etc.) – not education or logic – one purpose: how what they do makes us feel – transform emotional states.
A smartphone, car, celebrity – is popular – until a newer, flashier model comes along – then popular suddenly becomes “old”, “outdated” – no longer wanted – BORING – broccoli and brussel sprouts – no longer stimulates emotion – our brain labels it “irrelevant”.
Scientists, firefighters, mathematicians, physicists, teachers – best intentions – try doing the right thing – dedicate time and energy to helping others – meanwhile, celebrities are worshiped – can be total like assholes – long as they provide (often superficial) entertainment.
Many logical heroes exist – but don’t give that excitement “high” society is addicted to – expect few crave logic – so logical value is filtered out in nanoseconds – (logical) real heroes often get pushed to the side for entertainers.
Imagine – for a moment – you possess power to engineer irresistible craving in anyone… except YOU don’t matter – your results are based on the image you project by word and action – here’s an example:
Ever hear of a relationship where someone goes suicidal saying, “I can’t live without THEM!”?
Relationships and phones, much different from coffee and cigarettes, never enter our body, or hijack us directly – but realize far more powerful is external influence – billions have killed themselves suicide over love – never one on coffee or cigarettes – but here’s the kicker.
As children, we need virtually nothing to be happy – our imagination and a cardboard box is beyond enough. Why, as we age, do we we “need” things we never needed before to be happy – suddenly craving just “appears” – or we’re incomplete until we have it?
If we never smoked, or drank, we don’t magically crave things we’ve never got an addiction for – addiction is conditioning… what do we condition into people? Their own emotions (cravings for pleasure).
If we blocked eyes, ears, nose, and put smokers together, no one could react to the cigarette – won’t know it exists – but still crave for one – because the urge always was conditioned in THEM – not the object itself.
The promise of a FEELING (reward) their brain will give them is conditioned – over time they will feel a desperate need to fulfill that urge to have that thing, or person, because “withdrawal” (pain) at the mere thought of not having it makes them hurt.
They need things to be happy they never did – are miserable without – with no logic – the only remedy is their brain having that exact thing – but, if something could replicate that feeling – the object is irrelevant – they’ll pick whatever gives the feeling they’re after.
How does a brain decide what it want to fire cravings for, and what never will? How do we know when an action will stimulate addictive feelings, but another never will – here’s the formula:
A. Makes me feel better than now = “I want”… push toward pleasurable relief from thing/person.
B. Makes me feel NOTHING (or worse) = “stay away”… negative emotion pushes away from thing/person.
Person, food, smartphone, slot machine, anything – is it A or B? If it’s A, how do we make it B? Even the most boring story can be exciting with a change in storytelling.
It’s nothing to do with the person – it’s our action – whether they make others feel “A” or “B” – which control reaction, results, and reality g- we must only know how to choose successful behavior – behavior which reaches a desired result? But most people settle.
Many people normally don’t care when they feel “good” – they care about pain and pleasure – they’ settle for “normal” – as long as it relieves the pain – even for a minute – because they don’t see a better option.
A smoker rarely (if ever) feels “amazing”, nor coffee drinker, phone addict, alcoholic, gambler, or anyone in addiction – they’re scratching an “itch” – never get “orgasm” feelings – but even at outrageous prices – pay for small moments of relief, often with big costs later.
Why don’t parents use broccoli as a reward on children? It builds good habits, immune system, health – all logical things… and one problem – it’s not addictive (doesn’t deliver satisfaction for cravings).
In the 3% – not 97% – the child (and adult) wants that feeling inside the 97% – we must focus on giving it to them. – most parents “reward” children with cake, candy, cookies, video games… we’re conditioned from childhood to chase things which feel good NOW.
A child fears disappointing Santa, not because they’re worried about Santa’s feelings, or he’s a nice guy… they know – if they do – their reward (source of pleasure) may not come, and replaced with pain-inducing punishment – many grow this strategy as adults for control:
If an adult wants to punish someone (partner, child, employee etc.), they may withhold (sex, sports, pizza, etc.) – whatever most emotionally motivates the other person to go under their control, they’ll threaten fear of loss – here’s what’s important:
People never withhold logical “rewards”… punishment is always fear of uncomfortable feeling – which motivates or demotivates us toward their desired action – what we’ve begun learning are the strategies to counter their manipulation (only better) – we get how it works.
Society encourages manipulation (they’ll never admit, through their action, often calling it “making a positive impression”) – at their core, they too are ususally trying to influence others – often saying, doing, and looking whatever they think will get the response they want…
Every time a person combs their hair thinking they’ll impress someone, get a job, or get a response, they plan their dress, talk, and act according to what they think will get the other person to give them the result they want – people often don’t say what they truly think/feel.
When this manipulation works they’re happy… when it doesn’t they often are upset, bitter, even angry at all the time, energy, and money wasted… but plenty of people are charismatic, persuasive, and still 110% their natural selves, not changing, just enhancing.
Manipulation is gambling – persuasion isn’t – you’re not changing behavior – just being influential – uncover the truth about behavior, and perhaps change your life forever – get your free eBook – just enter your name and email below to get begin, then click “NEXT”: